The Pinterest Pressure

If you’re planning your wedding, chances are you’ve already been down the Pinterest rabbit hole. You’ve saved boards full of “must-have” wedding photo ideas, everything from sparkler exits to matching bridesmaid robe shots. And now you’re staring at a list that feels as long as your veil, wondering: Do I need to give my photographer a shot list?

Here’s the truth: an experienced wedding photographer already knows the moments that matter. A massive, overwhelming list doesn’t just add stress, it can actually take away from the natural flow of your day.

But don’t worry, that doesn’t mean you have to give up on those images you’ve been dreaming of. It just means you don’t need to carry the burden of making sure every little thing gets captured. That’s my job.

What a Photographer Already Covers (So You Don’t Have To)

Here’s the good news: a professional photographer doesn’t need to be told to capture the obvious moments. These are part of the DNA of every wedding:

• Walking down the aisle
• First kiss as a married couple
• Family formals
• First dance
• Cake cutting
• Toasts
• Bouquet toss (if you’re doing one)
• Exit (if it’s planned)

These are the anchors of your story, the big, non-negotiable milestones. You don’t need to waste brain space writing them out.

The Shots That Actually Matter

Here’s where the magic happens: the personal moments that mean something only to you.

• A photo with your grandmother who flew in from across the country.
• A candid of your college roommates together again for the first time in years.
• Your dog in a bow tie, sitting proudly at the ceremony.
• A private exchange of gifts or letters between you and your partner.

These are the shots worth mentioning, because they go beyond the “expected” and land straight in the heart of your story.

Why Too Many Lists Can Backfire

It’s tempting to hand your photographer a 3-page document of every single Pinterest photo you’ve ever pinned. But here’s why that’s actually counterproductive:

1. It pulls focus. Instead of watching for authentic, unplanned moments, your photographer is glued to a checklist.
2. It kills spontaneity. The best photos often happen in between the planned ones, laughter during hair and makeup, tears at the reception, a glance across the dance floor.
3. It duplicates effort. Chances are, 90% of your list is already part of your photographer’s flow.

Trusting your photographer doesn’t mean giving up control, it means giving yourself freedom to be fully present.

How to Create a “Heart List” Instead

Instead of a long checklist, I encourage my couples to create what I call a Heart List. This is a short, intentional list of the 3–5 moments, people, or details that matter most to you.

Ask yourself: What are the photos I’ll regret not having?

Here are some examples I’ve seen from past couples:

• “A photo of my mom lacing up my dress, we’ve always dreamed about this moment.”
• “A group photo of my high school best friends who haven’t been together in 10 years.”
• “A picture of us with our dog before the ceremony starts.”

Simple. Personal. Meaningful.

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How Family Formals Fit In

Family portraits are usually the one part of the day that requires some structure. It’s easy for this part to drag on if it’s not organized ahead of time.

Here’s my advice:

• Keep the combinations simple. Focus on immediate family, then add a few extended groupings.
• Communicate your must-have family groupings to me beforehand so I can direct efficiently.
• Build a little extra time into your timeline. Wrangling Uncle Bob takes longer than you think.

When done right, family formals don’t have to feel like a chore, they can be quick, meaningful, and stress-free.

The Photos You Don’t Want to Miss (But Might Forget)

Here’s a fun twist: some of the most cherished wedding photos are the ones couples don’t even realize they’ll want until afterward.

• The behind-the-scenes: your bridesmaids seeing you in your dress for the first time, or your partner adjusting their tie nervously before the ceremony.
• The quiet in-betweens: a hand squeeze during vows, a stolen kiss before the grand entrance.
• The atmosphere: wide shots of the reception setup before guests arrive, detail shots of the florals, your invitations styled beautifully.

These aren’t usually on a checklist, but they end up being the photos that transport you back to the feeling of the day.

Sample Heart List vs. Traditional Shot List

Here’s the difference in action:

Traditional Shot List (Overwhelming):

• Bride with mom
• Bride with dad
• Bride with bridesmaids
• Groom with groomsmen
• Couple kissing at altar
• Couple walking back down aisle
• Couple cutting cake
• Couple first dance
• Bride bouquet toss
• …and 75 more

Heart List (Intentional):

• Bride with mom in dress
• Groom with grandparents
• Candid of college friends together
• Couple with their dog
• First look with dad

See the difference? One feels like homework. The other feels like heart.

My Promise as Your Photographer

When you choose me as your wedding photographer, you’re not just hiring someone to take pictures, you’re hiring someone to protect the moments that matter most.

I’ll cover the big moments without you ever having to ask. I’ll direct the family formals so you don’t have to worry about it. And most importantly, I’ll watch for the quiet, unexpected glances that make your day feel like yours.

All I need from you? That short, intentional Heart List. The rest, trust me, I’ve got covered.

At the end of the day, your wedding isn’t a photoshoot, it’s a celebration. The best photos happen when you’re present, not when you’re stressed about a checklist.

So ditch the pressure, embrace the flow, and trust that your story deserves to be told naturally, with intention and heart.

If you’re searching for a Kansas City wedding photographer who will capture both the timeless moments and the in-betweens that make your day unforgettable, let’s chat. Contact me here to see if your date is available.