Should You Have a First Look? Pros, Cons, and Creative Alternatives
One of the most personal (and frequently debated!) wedding day decisions is whether or not to have a first look—that intimate moment where the couple sees each other before the ceremony.
For some, it’s a chance to slow down, connect, and ease the nerves. For others, there’s something sacred about waiting until the walk down the aisle. The good news? There’s no wrong choice—just the one that fits your personalities, priorities, and vision for the day.
Let’s walk through the pros, cons, and creative alternatives to help you decide what’s best for you.
What Is a First Look, Exactly?
It Eases the Nerves
Let’s be honest—wedding day jitters are real. If you’re someone who feels anxious in high-emotion moments, seeing your partner early in the day can bring a huge sense of calm and connection. It’s a deep breath before the big “I do.”
You Get Time Together
Wedding days fly by. Between guests, timelines, and events, couples sometimes find themselves barely getting a moment alone. A first look carves out intentional time for just the two of you—and often, it’s the only private moment you’ll share all day.
More Flexibility for Photos
From a logistical standpoint, first looks are game-changers. You can get so many portraits out of the way early—just the two of you, then bridal party and even family—so you’re not scrambling to squeeze them in after the ceremony. This often gives you more time to enjoy cocktail hour and be present with your guests.
The Reactions Are Still Just as Special
Some couples worry that seeing each other before the ceremony might “ruin the moment” of the aisle walk. In my experience? That moment is always special. There’s something deeply powerful about seeing your partner surrounded by all your favorite people, music swelling, emotions rising—nothing takes away from that. Many couples say they cry both times!
It Adds Margin to the Timeline
Wedding days are unpredictable. Delays happen. Weather shifts. Someone forgets a shoe. Building in a first look adds breathing room to your schedule and reduces the pressure to squeeze everything in later.
The Cons of a First Look
It Breaks Tradition
If you’re dreaming of that classic “walking down the aisle and locking eyes” moment, a first look can feel like it takes away from that suspense. For many couples, that tradition is emotionally significant—and that’s a beautiful reason to skip the first look.
It Means an Earlier Start Time
To fit in a first look, hair and makeup typically need to be done earlier, which can make for a longer day. If you’re not a morning person or don’t want to rush into your gown earlier than necessary, this might be a consideration.
Lighting or Weather Could Be Tricky
Depending on the season, lighting might not be ideal earlier in the day—or it could be raining during your scheduled first look time. (Pro tip: a great photographer will have a plan B and can help you pivot if needed.)
More People Might Be Watching Than You’d Like
While a first look is meant to be private, sometimes it ends up happening with the bridal party or family peeking in. If privacy is essential for you to be fully present, communicate that clearly with your planner and photographer.
Final Thoughts: What’s Right for You?
At the end of the day, the first look decision is yours—and it should reflect what matters most to you. Don’t feel pressured by tradition or trends. Whether you choose a quiet first look, a dramatic aisle moment, or something totally your own, the most important thing is that it feels true to your relationship.
And no matter what, we’ll be there to capture every emotion, every tear, every look—so you can relive the story forever.
Want more help crafting a stress-free timeline—first look or not?
Let’s chat! I’ll walk you through your options and help build a wedding day flow that’s as joyful as your love story. Head to keshiapietz.com and say hello!